Enter at Your Own Risk

Let’s get a few things in order before we go all-in, shall we?

First and foremost, if you’re new here, welcome and thank you! I recommend checking out the post “Forward” first, and then reading through “In the beginning there was the Word”.

Before we go any further, I think it’s important to explain a few things to really understand what you’re getting into. I considered the idea of trigger warnings before certain posts but I'll be honest with you...this entire site I've created could easily be seen as a trigger warning. Hence, the creation of this particular post:

1- Confidentiality is incredibly important to me when it comes to talking about situations I have experienced with the families I have worked with and their loved ones. I will be intentionally vague at times and will likely not even discuss NASH classifications (Causes of Death: Natural, Accident, Suicide, Homicide, {Undecided, Pending}) when it comes to any of my accounts of these encounters. Jumpscares for the sake of dramatics really aren’t important or helpful when it comes to discussing real-life funerals, death, and beyond. With that said, I will write about things that go on the the prep room of funeral homes, explain some of the instruments embalmers use, and go into a bit of detail about embalming, restoration, the process of casketing a person, cremation, burial, and other forms of final disposition.
That means the gore level of my writings will be pretty minimal unless I’m describing something that physically happened to me. Though I probably won’t go into much grossness there either, because, comically enough, when I get hurt or see my own blood, I tend to pass out.

2- This one’s a bit heavy and deeply personal: Going forward, you may find that my writing occasionally leans into situations where I come off as a bit self-deprecating, seeking positive reinforcement and approval from people who won’t give that, and oodles of people-pleasing. You may also notice a lot of internalized and externalized anger, frustration, sadness, and a deep self-loathing. I need you to understand that I grew up in a physically and verbally abusive, and emotionally manipulative, household. While, thanks to years of therapy, I am typically a positive person, I have to work hard to break out of the awful-yet-comfortable habits of a kid who grew up in a deeply disturbing environment. I want you to know this because I don’t like talking about it, but it’ll be helpful to understand my outlook on certain topics I bring up as I write more. Because of how I grew up, I tend to assume everyone hates me, and if I specifically go out of my way to be perfect, anticipate people’s needs at least two steps ahead of them, and hide my weirds as best I can, no one will ever know how vile I am! Frankly, I often am not sure how I appear outwardly to others, and that I think makes me even less confident. It’s a Very Cool Mental Health Problem that I’ve been working on for ages. With that in mind, we’ll be talking about high-functioning anxiety and chronic depression quite a bit! (insert a wink and double thumbs up here)
In spite of all of this, my goal is to keep things as light and smooth as I can, but I mean…we’re still going to find ourselves marinating in some pretty dark places from time to time. It is inevitable!

3- No one wakes up thinking “Golly, I think I’d like to be a funeral director!” unless you’re born into a family of funeral directors (sometimes). That is to say, I am a first-generation funeral director. This is not a family career tradition by any means. People always ask me what made me want to be a Mortician, and it’s so difficult to explain. Sure, my last bit of writing was a good summary to explain where my curiosity with death originated, but as to why that curiosity continued to ebb and flow inside of me until I did something about it? Well you’d have to ask everyone I have ever known who has died, because they may be the only ones who truly understand.
Actually, there is one living person who really made it all make sense for me, whether he knows it or not. Well over a decade ago, I took on a temporary position at an office/warehouse with a health and beauty company. One of my jobs was to print online orders for the warehouse to pack and ship. I don’t recall exactly what happened, but I made an error and immediately went to my supervisor once I realized it. We discussed it a bit to understand more about how it happened and how to ensure it wouldn’t happen again. He could tell I was quite upset and toward the end of our conversation he said to me “Listen, it’s not life or death. It’s just soap.”
From that point on, I felt that working most any job that wasn’t in the medical or death-related field was, not inconsequential necessarily, but not truly as meaningful to me no matter how much value I put on it. That’s not to say nothing is as important as being a Mortician, to when it comes to my own personal self-worth, and the value that I put into the world as a person, nothing in my past or future, career-wise, holds as much weight and worth to me as my becoming, and being, a Mortician. It is truly my calling.

4- Now, that being said…not every funeral director/embalmer feels that way, and I have worked with some of them. Trust that at some point, probably at multiple points, I’m going to write about how upset that makes me. And I will absolutely liken it to reality television, most specifically Project Runway. And Survivor. But also non-reality shows like the Office...and the Boys.

5- On top of all of that, I think the most important things a Mortician can do for you is to share knowledge and educate the general public regarding what is and isn’t possible when it comes to funerals, share information regarding past and current death trends, and work to demystify Death by removing the veil of taboo our society constantly drapes around the topic. It, too, is inevitable! But it is not The End, and it is certainly not to be ignored or left to other people to decide what happens to you. Trust me. By that I mean, I wish to share so much knowledge with you, and welcome any and all questions, thoughts, and feelings you may have. There are no silly, weird, wrong, or bad questions! Even the “weirdest” question I ever got was honestly an incredibly good question, and I learned a ton from researching it deeper. Morticians never stop learning, and it’s due in part to these questions!

Ok, I think that’s it for now. I don't really have a schedule for how often I will write, what times I'll post, and so forth, but that's not really what this is about for me. Thank you for the motivation to keep writing and sharing. 

If you would like to support my writing, you can do so by buying me a coffee!